Demonstrable Douchery: October 2014

Recently, the "Dear Prudence" advice column on Slate.com ran this query from a bigoted cheapskate douchenozzle who doesn't want to give candy to the kids from "poor neighborhoods" who come by her house on Halloween. After all, doesn't she give enough money towards social services already?

Douchenozzle.

Here's her query and Prudence's response:

Dear Prudence,
I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

Dear 99,
In the urban neighborhood where I used to live, families who were not from the immediate area would come in fairly large groups to trick-or-treat on our streets, which were safe, well-lit, and full of people overstocked with candy. It was delightful to see the little mermaids, spider-men, ghosts, and the occasional axe murderer excitedly run up and down our front steps, having the time of their lives. So we’d spend an extra $20 to make sure we had enough candy for kids who weren’t as fortunate as ours. There you are, 99, on the impoverished side of Greenwich or Beverly Hills, with the other struggling lawyers, doctors, and business owners. Your whine makes me kind of wish that people from the actual poor side of town come this year not with scary costumes but with real pitchforks. Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.

—Prudie

Click below to see the entire column for that day.
Help! Kids From Poorer Neighborhoods Keep Trick-or-Treating in Mine.

The article linked below is pretty interesting, but while "Douchebag" may be commonly restricted to "white males," I think we here at DEMONSTRABLE DOUCHERY take a more progressive approach to the term (and it's various sub-forms). Basically, we are spotlighting (and shaming) people who treat others in an unkind and mean way but do so to a grandiose and abhorrent level. Not surprisingly, this means the vast majority of "Douchenozzles", "Douchebags", "Douchewaffles", and "Douchecanoes" happen to be of the white male variety. And also not surprisingly, they seem to most often fall into the rabidly partisan right wing politically.

How about we all just be nice to our fellow humans and stop being douches and maybe we can let all these labels and epithets fall by the wayside.

It's a beautiful world out there. Stop being a dick, a douche, or whatever.

"Douchebag": The White Racial Slur We've All Been Waiting For